Depression in Children and Teens: Signs Every Parent Should Know
As a parent, you’ll witness your child through their many emotional phases. Happy for their first day of school, cranky about the math test, giddy after a sleepover, or heartbroken over a lost friendship. These emotional ups and downs are a natural and essential part of growing up. But when emotions like sadness or irritability linger for longer than expected, it could be a sign of something else!! Depression in children and teens goes unnoticed because it doesn’t show up the way depression in adults does. It hides behind the complexities of childhood and adolescence. As a parent, unmasking these cues can make all the difference in your children’s lives. Keep reading to understand what depression in children and teens looks like and what you can do to help!
Why Depression in Children Gets Overlooked
Depression is indicated as one of the most alarming “new morbidities.” But it is often overlooked because it is largely believed that childhood is a carefree and fun time. It is only filled with joy, play, and boundless energy. This notion breeds the misconception that children are naturally resilient to sadness or that they’ll ‘get over it.’ Which is a big disservice to their well-being.
Most importantly, the stigma around mental health conditions is magnanimous. Parents may worry about labelling their child too early or blame themselves for the diagnosis. Depression in children also attracts judgment, with many people thinking that children just ‘grow out of it’ or that this is just a disciplinary issue. Such an attitude towards depression significantly delays diagnosis and intervention until it reaches a point where symptoms become severe and harder to manage.
This collective idea of depression in children mainly stems from one thing: a lack of awareness! We’re here to fix that.
Signs of Depression in Children
Take a moment to picture an adult who has been diagnosed with depression. What do they look like? Maybe you’re imagining someone who is withdrawn and tearful, struggling to get out of bed every day. Now, try to picture a child with depression. Were you able to fit in all these symptoms with a child? Most likely not, because with children, the image is often less clear. Depression in children could look like irritability, clinginess, or constant complaints of stomach aches.
Children do not always know how to tell you when they’re feeling a certain way. Their depression shows up through behaviors that can be easily misunderstood. Such as acting out in class, losing interest in play, seeming tired or withdrawn from friends, and homework. Depression up to 6 years of age can also present as problems with the sleep-wake rhythm, nutrition, and dermatologic and respiratory problems. Intense fears of abandonment and helplessness can also accompany these physical manifestations of depression.
In highly sensitive children who experience the world with greater emotional intensity, the signs of depression can look more subtle. They may resort to self-blame over minor inconveniences or dwell on negative experiences for a longer period of time. Rather than acting out, highly sensitive children may retreat inward and become emotionally unresponsive. Thus as parents, it’s important to check in regularly. Learn more about how to support your highly sensitive child here.
Signs of Depression in Teens
Teenage years are widely recognized as a period of significant turbulence. Dramatic physical, cognitive, and social changes are all occurring together and often lead to a shift in their way of living that can be hard to assess. Emotional signs of depression may include anger, agitation, or irritability, which is a core diagnostic symptom according to the American Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-IV. Teens may have low self-esteem or may exhibit detachment and disconnection from the world.
Does your child play baseball and is no longer interested in going to play? Or even if they are playing, do they not look happy after it? Then that could be signaling something. Giving up a hobby or not being able to fully enjoy it can be a major sign of depression. Avoiding friends, preferring isolation, and especially risk-taking behaviours such as substance use and reckless driving, all fall on the spectrum of behavioral signs of depression.
Adolescence is a period of stress, and so physical changes are expected in teens. But you must take notice if these changes are too rapid or unaccounted for. This could be a sudden loss or even gain in weight. Difficulty with sleeping or a sense of chronic fatigue are some of the major physical manifestations of depression.
How is Depression in Children Different from Sadness?
Consistency
Sadness is usually associated with a specific event that eventually fades with time. Whereas depression stays for weeks or longer, even without a clear cause.
Duration
Is your child sad about losing a toy? Then they will probably be fine in a couple of hours! But if they’re depressed, then their symptoms will go on for at least two weeks.
Impact
Sadness can coexist with one’s daily life, but depression interferes with it. It might disrupt sleep, appetite, and also lead to a loss of interest in activities that are otherwise enjoyable.
Causes of Depression in Children
From the many different causes of depression, life experiences, environment, and biology are the most important ones. Understanding these causes allows parents to accept this mental health condition without blaming themselves and thus focusing on healing instead.
Family History:
Children with a close family member diagnosed with clinical depression are at higher risk of developing it themselves.
Trauma:
Traumatic events such as abuse, neglect, loss of a loved one, bullying, divorce, or violence can all have long-lasting emotional impacts. It is important to understand that it’s not the magnitude of the trauma but the effect that it has on the child that matters. For them, no trauma is small!!
Environment:
The places where a child spends most of their time bears a significant effect on their mental health. Financial instability of conflict at home, problems in school, or with peers can all contribute towards depression in children and teens.
Busting 5 Myths About Depression in Children
Due to the prevalent lack of awareness about depression, you will hear so many things that don’t make sense. Don’t worry, we’re helping you rebuke them!
‘It’s just a phase’
Even though mood swings in teenagers are in fact phasic, depression is not a phase that children can outgrow.
‘It’s caused by bad parenting’
Children can get depressed even with the most loving parents. While the home environment is an important factor, it is not the only one! Blaming parents is not healthy because it adds unnecessary guilt.
‘Too young to be depressed’
Age is definitely not a shield against depression. Toddlers, children, and teens can all experience depression, though they may have different presenting symptoms.
‘They are just seeking attention’
Many children who act out when depressed are not seeking attention. They are just trying to convey how they feel and look for help, especially highly sensitive children, when they don't know what to say.
‘Talking about depression will make it worse’
Talking to your child if they’re depressed can actually relieve their anxiety! It helps you stay connected to them through their process of healing and helps them heal faster.
Talking to Your Child About Depression
It can be quite intimidating to talk about depression with your children, we get that! But a simple conversation can help your child open up to you, and it might even make the healing process much simpler.
Always start with an open-ended question, like ‘How have we been feeling lately?’ Use simple language with a non-judgmental tone, and be open to conversation. Then, when they share their feelings with you, validate them: ‘That must’ve been hard!’ Avoid any urge to become the problem solver instantly; remember that right now, they just want someone to listen to them.
Practice empathy and patience, which are the key to becoming a calmer parent. Sometimes your child may not want to talk to you. Highly sensitive children may especially take some time before opening up to you. In that case, let them know that you’re ready when they are.
When To Seek Professional Help
If diagnosed early, childhood depression can be managed successfully with support. But there are alarm signs that every parent must be aware of. If you notice your child engaging in talks of self-harm or suicide, reckless behaviour, or complete loss of will to live, act immediately. Don’t leave your child alone, and contact the suicide prevention helpline. In the U.S., the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers 24/7 support.
Once immediate safety has been ensured, connect your child with a trained therapist who can then better decide the best approach tailored to your child’s needs. They employ therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT,) which helps in identifying and reframing negative thoughts, play therapy, and family therapy as well. The path towards recovery may not be linear and slow, but hang on, it does get better from here!