If you’ve ever used a time-out for children and felt unsure afterward, you’re not alone. Time-outs have long been a go-to discipline tool, and in some cases, they can help create space to cool down. But more often, especially with emotionally overwhelmed or sensitive children, time-outs can miss the heart of what’s really needed: connection, not isolation. As psychologists and parents, we know you’re doing your best in tough moments, and it’s hard! You want to teach your child to behave well, but also feel seen, safe, and supported.

Parents often ask me how to deal with a child who is hitting their siblings (or being physically aggressive towards their siblings or other children). Most of the time, parents intuitively know that it is not helpful to make a child feel ashamed for their natural human impulse to hit, punch, kick, or bite...YET it can be infuriating and ultimately very concerning to experience violence between your children. And SO these situations most often end in more yelling, confusion, and disconnection between all members of the family.

One of the most common issues that parents bring to our sessions is that they feel out of control in setting and respecting boundaries with their children.I am seeing over and over again that traditional disciplinary strategies particularly for the highly sensitive child do not work, and when parents set consistent and loving boundaries, most discipline is not necessary