ADHD vs Highly Sensitive Child: How to Tell the Difference and Support Your Child
As a parent, you will often find yourself at a crossroads with many life decisions when it comes to your child. Some will be big, some small, but all confusing in their own way. Is it time to switch to solids? Or is it wise to allow them some screen time? For parents with highly sensitive children, this crossroads also extends to this one question that often comes up: Is it ADHD, or is your child just deeply upset when they can’t find their favorite plushie? In the ADHD vs highly sensitive child conversation, the lines can easily blur. Sometimes what looks like ADHD is actually high sensitivity or emotional dysregulation in disguise. Parents with highly sensitive children have a tough time navigating this path. Empowering parents to trust their gut and explore the full picture can lead to more sustainable, respectful support for their child. Keep reading to learn how to do just that!!
ADHD vs Highly Sensitive Child: What’s Similar?
ADHD and high sensitivity can look remarkably similar from the outside. Both of them more or less involve difficulty in adapting to new routines. Children may have emotional outbursts as a reaction to a minor event, and they may even feel distracted. A child with ADHD might seem “all over the place,” but so might a highly sensitive child who’s overwhelmed by sensory input. Both may struggle in loud classrooms or react strongly to criticism, but the underlying reason is always different. They can also share similar patterns of emotional dysregulation. A highly sensitive child may cry when they’re deeply affected by something, while a child with ADHD may act impulsively in a similar situation due to difficulty with self-control. In both of these situations, parents and teachers may see a child who is overly emotional, reactive, or inattentive. While ADHD and high sensitivity are two different things, they can also co-exist. Children diagnosed with ADHD often have a heightened awareness of their surroundings and are thus highly sensitive. Many highly exceptional children have a learning disability, such as ADHD, and are also highly sensitive. So it’s safe to say that while most children with ADHD may have some level of altered sensitivity, not all highly sensitive children can be labelled with ADHD.
ADHD vs Highly Sensitive Child: Know The Difference
ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects a child’s ability to focus. It can also involve difficulty in controlling impulses and managing energy levels. Kids might hyperfocus on a task they love doing while losing track of anything routine or less stimulating. They may have trouble staying organized, following instructions, or just sitting still. This is not them being defiant, just that their brains are wired differently.
On the other hand, being a highly sensitive child is not a disorder. These children are simply born with a more finely tuned nervous system that allows them to feel everything deeply. They are able to notice the tiniest bit of details and are highly empathetic. When they experience sensory overload, like loud noises or rough fabrics, they may feel overwhelmed and have a meltdown. But it is important to know that this is a personality trait and not a diagnosis.
Spot the Difference
Always be ready to delve into the ‘why’ behind your child’s behavior! Ask yourself, is your child truly unable to focus, or are they just overwhelmed due to sensory stimulations? Look for these sensory stimuli and try to spot them. Was it the loud television noise or the flashing lights that led your child to throw a tantrum? Remove the stimulus and then observe your child’s behavior too. Because if your child is highly sensitive, it is very likely that there is a reason behind why they are acting the way that they are. Highly sensitive children function well when they are understood and when they feel safe. Learn more about the signs of a highly sensitive child here.
On the contrary, similar ADHD behaviors will show up across many settings, from home to school or any other social gathering. Their behaviors will also not be stimulus-dependent. In the realm of the ADHD vs highly sensitive child debate, sometimes in order to gain clarity, it’s best to reflect on patterns. Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to ask questions!!
Decoding an Emotional Outburst
Let’s be real, an emotional outburst may feel completely chaotic. You might not know how to react in the moment, and it may be tough regulating your child’s emotions. But such situations often hold the key to your child’s inner world. A meltdown isn’t just bad behavior; for a highly sensitive child, this may signal a fear, an unmet need, or emotional overwhelm.
These reactions can signal if your child is struggling to process their emotions or regulate their nervous system. When this happens, take a few minutes to process the situation, but then ask yourself. ‘What happened before this?’ or ‘What might they be trying to tell me?’ When approaching any outburst with empathy and curiosity instead of frustration, we are able to uncover what’s really going on.
Risk of Mislabelling
When drawing a line in the discourse of ADHD vs highly sensitive child, we must be very careful. It is very easy to misdiagnose a sensitive child with ADHD, which could have devastating effects. Their sacred emotional inner world not only gets pathologized but also medicated. Don’t get us wrong, for a child who truly has ADHD, medication can be life-changing. But for a highly sensitive child, this may suppress their emotions and emotional cues. Even though sensitivity does not require fixing! It is a part of who they are. When we treat natural emotional intensity as a problem, we risk teaching children that their feelings are too much. Instead of just helping them learn to understand and manage their emotions effectively. When rushing to quick solutions through medication, we may be silencing a highly sensitive child who just needs more support.
Beyond Medication: 7 Tools to Support A Highly Sensitive Child
Calm Corner
Do you sense that your child is feeling emotionally overwhelmed? Move to the calm corner with them! Build a soothing spot in your house with soft lights and toys that make them happy. This is where they can go for an emotional reset.
Emotional Coaching
Always name and validate their emotions in place of masking them. Instead of saying ‘You’ll be fine!’ say, ‘That was sad, wasn’t it?’ This helps them identify their own emotions and makes them feel safe. This way, you’re not suppressing their emotions, just helping them express freely
Micro-Breaks
Create a routine of introducing micro-breaks in your daily life. After lunch or just before bed, dedicate 2-3 minutes of quiet time away from sensory stimulations. This way, you’re avoiding overstimulation even before it happens!
Co-Regulation
Sometimes, your child just wants to know that they are supported even through the many ups and downs of their emotional world. So when they feel dysregulated, stay beside them. Try breathing techniques together and offer physical support.
Sensitivity is Superpower
Highly sensitive children need to be reminded that their emotions are a strength and not a weakness. Point out their sensitivity and appreciate it, whether it's in the form of empathy, creativity, or just the ability to notice the unspoken. Tell them it’s a superpower!!
Sensitivity Buddies
Have you ever felt alone when hitting a rough patch with parenting? Know that your child may sometimes feel the same! If possible, connect your child with other highly sensitive children or an older cousin, or a mentor who also feels deeply. This reassures them that they’re not alone.
Play and Creativity
Never leave the fun out, despite the adaptations that you may have to make with a highly sensitive child. Painting, storytelling, dance, or play can serve as small yet fun ways for your child to express their emotions. For example, they can act out how they feel, or paint their emotion,s even if they don’t feel like talking about them.
When to Question a Diagnosis
Always trust your intuition!! As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else. So, if your child gets diagnosed with ADHD and that diagnosis doesn’t sit right with you, it’s okay to ask questions along the lines of ADHD vs highly sensitive child. Labels like ADHD are incredibly helpful for children in gaining access to support, but can be limiting for a highly sensitive child if it doesn’t reflect their true experience. It is possible that your child was assessed during their stressful exam season, or maybe they were emotionally overloaded during the session? Their high sensitivity might have been mistaken for inattention or impulsivity. In this case, seek second opinions, ask for a reevaluation, or consult with specialists in the field. Being an advocate for your child can be tough, but they deserve someone who sees them and not just their behavior.
Know When to Seek Help
If you’re still struggling to know if it is ADHD or high sensitivity, try taking The Ultimate Highly Sensitive Child Test. Moreover, look for emotional cues, track your child’s everyday patterns, and adjust the sensory stimuli accordingly. If your child feels better once you’ve removed overwhelming sensory stimulations, then it is most likely a sign of a highly sensitive child. But if you’re still confused, it is time to reach out for professional help. Look for psychologists, occupational therapists, or pediatricians who can guide you in the right way. Ask holistic questions and be fully involved in the process, because seeking clarity is one of the most powerful ways to show up for your child.