6 Year Olds Behavior: A Therapist’s Guide to Understanding & Supporting Your Little One
Takeaway: Parenting a six year old isn’t always easy. Understanding their behavior can be difficult to fit in between school, sports, family functions, and the overall busyness of parenthood. However, understanding and supporting your little one is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. In this guide, I’ll talk about:
How to understand your child’s behavior
What behaviors to expect from a six-year-old
When to seek professional help
As your child blows out the candles on their birthday cake, you probably wonder how time passed so quickly. One moment, they’re in their crib; the next, they start school and become more independent. While they still need your help on some tasks, they’re learning new skills every day.
Don't worry if you’re feeling a little apprehensive about understanding and supporting your child as they turn six. Together, we’ll walk through ways to become more attuned to your child’s behavior, noticing warning signs and determining what is expected at their age.
What to Expect: 6 Year Old Behavior
You might think there’s no big difference between a five-year-old and a six-year-old. However, by age six, a child is entering what the Center for Disease Control defines as “middle childhood.” Kids are sponges at this age, which means they’re paying more attention to their surroundings than they used to and may have trouble paying attention to things they're uninterested in. With this rapid growth period, you’ll notice them grow physically and intellectually.
Some of the expected physical and socioemotional developmental milestones for six year olds are:
An increased awareness of others, focusing less on themselves
Devoting more attention to relationships and collaborating with others
Making and keeping friends more often
Honing their fine motor skills by learning to write their name, letters, and numbers
Developing a sense of body image
It’s important to note that this isn’t an exhaustive list; every child develops differently, with some learning new skills faster or slower than others. Consult with your child’s pediatrician if you have concerns about these developmental milestones or anything related to their physical health.
Difficulty with Emotion Regulation
One of the most common behaviors parents struggle with is when their child has difficulty regulating their emotions. Children aren’t supposed to have mastered emotion regulation by age six, but they get better at identifying and dealing with their own feelings as they age.
For example, say it’s family game night, and your six-year-old is losing. How do they react? Do they accept losing when another person beats them, or do they become easily frustrated?
Frequent Temper Tantrums
Emotional meltdowns are typically associated with toddlers, but kids don’t quite outgrow them by the time they turn six. These temper tantrums may involve crying, screaming, hitting, or kicking, or in more severe cases, aggression, biting, or head banging.
At six years old, frequent and intense temper tantrums can indicate that your child is struggling to express or manage big emotions and could benefit from learning more appropriate coping mechanisms. Providing a calm, supportive environment and considering professional help can help them navigate these feelings more effectively.
Complex Behavior Diagnoses
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD) are two types of behavioral conditions that children may develop, especially if they’ve experienced trauma:
Oppositional defiant disorder is characterized by an ongoing pattern of irritable mood, anger, and resentment toward authority figures.
Kids with conduct disorder show more repetitive and persistent patterns of behavior where major age-appropriate norms or rules are violated.
ODD and CD significantly affect a child’s ability to thrive in school and social situations, which is why they often require the guidance of a mental health professional who can offer specialized therapeutic approaches.
Early intervention can make managing challenging behavioral issues easier. Timely and consistent intervention can prevent problems from intensifying and help your child develop social skills and healthier coping methods.
Remember, a diagnosis is merely a label to organize your child’s symptoms. It’s not something that will define the rest of their childhood. Still, it should be taken seriously enough to get them the appropriate intervention – which is where holistic mental health therapy, like what we offer for parents and children at Rooted Rhythm, comes into play.
Focus & Attention
The average attention span for a 5-6 year old is between 12 and 18 minutes. If you notice your child starting to have trouble with maintaining focus, paying attention, fidgeting, or having more frequent emotional outbursts at home, it could be a sign that they’re struggling. Check in with your child’s teacher to learn about their behavior at school and how they act around other children. For example, ask if they are getting into trouble for acting out in class or having difficulty following the rules.
Understanding Your Child’s Behavior by Redefining “Normal”
Being the parent of a six year old may require looking at behavior differently than you might for other kids, especially if they’re highly sensitive. You want to enjoy your child’s youngest years, but you also don’t want to guide them in the wrong direction by enabling harmful coping mechanisms.
In fact, most of the time, it’s best to set our expectations of “normal” aside and meet our children where they are. Children learn when you get on their level, so taking the time to practice active listening during conversations with them is something to turn into a daily practice.
The more understood they feel by you, the more likely they are to communicate what they’re feeling – and, in turn, the better you can understand them.
Parenting Tips for 6 Year Old Kids
As a holistic mental health therapist, I know it’s overwhelming to absorb all this new information at every developmental period of your child’s life. You might even be concerned about getting everything right, but don't be. Let’s go through some tips I encourage parents to practice to help quell behavior issues and maintain peace within the home, allowing children to grow, flourish, and develop healthy behavior.
Structured Independence
Encouraging independence is essential for your child’s growth, but providing guidance and boundaries is equally important. Find a balance between granting autonomy and offering support when needed.
One way to do this is by reevaluating the rules of the home. Do they allow your child to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from their mistakes while also ensuring they feel safe and supported?
The Power of Choice
Giving your six-year-old choices can empower them and teach them the importance of decision-making in a controlled, safe environment.
For example, say your child enjoys picking out their own clothes for school but has trouble making a choice. Pick out two options and have them select from them. It’s okay to sit with them as they make the choice, so long as you let them take the lead in an appropriate way. This way, they feel supported, heard, and valued in daily activities.
Celebrate Good Behavior and Healthy Choices
Celebrate your child’s good behavior by providing positive regard to reinforce their healthy choices. Instead of acting on impulse, they’re learning to rationalize and be intentional (in a six-year-old kind of way) before they do or say something. Plus, encouraging them and sharing their joy is a way to strengthen your bond with your child while nurturing a foundation of good habits.
Emotional Intelligence Education
Teaching emotional intelligence helps children understand and manage their feelings, something that is often a struggle at home and in social settings.
Introducing concepts like empathy and self-awareness into daily routines and activities at this age lays the groundwork for emotional resilience, helping them learn better conflict-resolution skills as they grow. A mental health professional can also promote learning how to identify and express their emotions appropriately.
Encourage Expression
Encouraging your child to express their thoughts and feelings openly builds trust and encourages them to develop a healthy sense of self. Of course, you want them to be mindful of the situation at hand. Still, this practice does help them build confidence in communicating their needs and reduces frustrations that might otherwise lead to behavioral issues.
When to Seek Help From a Mental Health Professional
While some behavior challenges are typical for six-year-olds, others may indicate a need for professional intervention. If your child’s behavior significantly disrupts their daily life or relationships, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional. Signs to watch out for include persistent aggression, extreme mood swings, or sudden changes in behavior.
At Rooted Rhythm, we want you to gain confidence in your parenting style and connect with your child on a deeper level – both of which are vital to having a healthy, happy family dynamic. We’d love to help you, just like we’ve helped other parents in Denver, Dallas, Atlanta, Greenwich, and beyond.
Connect with us to learn more about our services.